Daily life...

It is difficult being so far from friends. Silver is so far away & Hawke as well. When things go awry for any of us or between us it would just be so good to be able to call around & see them, deal with things face to face; somehow things seem better that way.

The internet is a great thing, making the world smaller & making it possible for me to know them at all, but it is a long way from a physical relationship. This was driven home to me when I read a thread on WF about what happens if a member dies; would other members ever know or would they just pass into the distance, unremarked & unremembered. Some of the posters talk about having a list of sites for their family or friends to contact so as to let the other members know what had happened. This brought the realisation that should I die, there is nobody I can leave a note for. About the best I could hope for is a cop when they came to cart me away might find a note & bother to log in.

I think about the best I could do is make out a will & give details for the lawyer to contact Silver or Hawke so they could pass on the information.

It is hard to recall the last time I was touched in a personal way (apart from things like handshakes on intro to people) or when someone came to visit. And yet I am a friendly person - I don't readily abuse people, I think of their comfort & ask after their health - yet somehow people seem to stand off from me. Maybe I smell? *grins*

I even have evidence of the effect - a couple of years ago I went around the world & often had long & involved convos with people in a lot of countries, but in 4 months of travel, not one of those conversations were started by other people. Every time I had to break the ice; once done, the convos were friendly & lively & we had a good time, but not once was I approached first.

I have noticed the effect in bars - I can walk in, stand at a crowded bar & have a drink, and within 15 minutes I will have a space on either side of me at least 2 people wide. Not every time but often enough that it is noticeable. In places where I was a regular I have drawn the attention of the bar staff to it & they can't understand it either.

If I break the ice with anyone, it doesn't happen but if I don't talk, somehow, even when they are a couple of rows deep at other parts of the bar, I will have a space. Very occasionally someone wills tep into the space to order & then move back to their table but nobody stays unless I first talk to them.

Strange stuff. I wish I could see auras - mine must be a doozy!