Test

This is a test - silly blogger

The time has come...

The hall wasn't all that busy; over near the doors leading from Customs there were maybe 50 people waiting for arrivals as I sat waiting for her plane to land. Coffee in hand, (surprisingly good coffee for an airport) I watched those around, most patient, some anxious & others looking blankly at the 4 doors that people were using to re-enter the world from the security section.

I missed the moment of the plane landing; one moment the column was blank, next the list shuffled up the board & flight 839 had 'landed' beside it.

I knew Customs would take a while so I didn't move forward yet, but I could pick those waiting for fellow passengers on her flight by the way they instantly went to the rail near the doors, as if somehow they could bring their loved ones or guest through the doors earlier. Given it was mostly asians exiting from the Singapore flight that had landed 45 mins before, I didn't hold out much hope their expectations would have a result

New beginnings

Sometimes it is the little things that have the most effect on your life & sometimes it is things that have no apparent bearing on the eventual result that are most meaningful. By the second part, I mean even looking back it can be difficult to see how one act or decision can lead forward to what has eventually come about.

In my mid 40's I went through what i suppose could be called a crisis but it really wasn't very dramatic; I simply came to recognise that who I was didn't seem to have led me to a place where I had or would find my soul partner. I'd wanted all my life to share my life with someone but it never seemed to work out. So I came to terms with dying alone, with being lonely on a deep level, of not ever being able to look forward to sharing my life & thoughts with that special someone we dream of in our teens.

Then, as is my wont, I reached out to help someone on the net. I've always been a helper - it has cost me friends more than once because quite a number of folk see the offering of advice or assistance as being some kind of put-down & even explaining my PoV about it doesn't help.

I see it as this: if I have some info or knowledge on something, as a friend or even acquaintance it is wrong of me to let someone step blindly into something or to make an error because they don't know my bit of info. They tend not to see it that way & assume I think they aren't competent or able to do what they are about to try.

But it is built into me to help. Years back I did a series of scenarios in a book about finding your purpose in life. Mine came out very clearly as helping others. I did a course called 'I could be anything I want, if only I knew what it is' & one question was, 'If you were guaranteed to be successful at it, what job would you want?' I double-checked it was MY definition of success & not some external one & after the others said things like 'chef,' 'astronaut,' 'artist' etc, the instructor asked me. Without hesitation I said 'world leader' & there was a sort of shuffling noise as people edged their chairs away from me. *grins*

But my reasoning was simple - if I was a successful world leader, everybody would have a better life & a chance at achieving their goals/purposes, because that's what I would consider a success in that job.

So I tried to help someone. Long story cut short is they turned out to be a nasty fake, a manipulator of others & a liar. But, & it is an important but, via that person I met another troubled soul, one who was losing her battle to see a decent future & wieghed down by the past. I reached out to her as well & we talked.

Very quickly I saw a special person, a bright soul mired deep in trouble; trouble that mostly she couldn't see & didn't have causes for. There was immediate attraction but due to age differences I refused to consider anything coming of it - until she 'slapped' me with a poem & made me realise how stupid I was to pass up on something that could be so good.

Time passed & things got rough. I had no idea why but somehow no matter what I did our relationship teetered for months on a fine edge. I felt like if I said or did the slightest thing wrong, she would vanish, smoke her way out of my life & possibly do herself harm. Nothing I said seemed to alleviate things much - we had several breaches & repairs but the repairs didn't seem to stick.

I had enough experience I should have worked it out sooner than I did. When two people honestly try to sort out a problem & keep failing, SOMEONE IS KEEPING IT GOING! That turned out to be the case with us.

The liar, the person we both thought of as close to us, was manipulating frantically, lying her arse off to drive wedges between my love & me & even doing the same with another very close friend who had been through a lot of the earlier stuff with us & helped us enormously. It was a turbulent time for the 3 of us.

Then, finally, we shared some info - things that had been said or sent individually but not passed between the 3 of us & we saw the enemy for what it was. There followed an emotional period as we all came to terms with how much we'd been lied to & manipulated & then we began to heal.

Now, within just a few days, the woman I fell in love with over a year ago is coming to Australia to be with me. She leaves behind a life that was driving her to her death & gathering her courage to step out for a new beginning. From here on her life will be very different to what she has been through & so will mine. How it will turn out is uncertain, but then when did anyone ever promise us certainties in life?

I do know that no matter how things go between us, she will have a better life & the best start I can give her. That is a promise I have made, not to her, but to myself.

So, from deciding to help a person in trouble, I now have a new future. I get tight inside when I think how easily I could have missed out on this chance, how close I came to looking at our ages & refusing to accept there could be something serious between us. I think I have saved her life a couple of times, mostly just by being there for her, but she has given me a whole new future.

Another Quiz

Mark took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Desires a tranquil, peaceful state of harmony offe..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

Change of Life

Well, soon my life is going to change. Concrete evidence (or I should say, cardboard evidence) of it arrived today. A box of personal possessions from the woman I met online a bit over a year back & with whom i have chatted, messaged, web-cammed & spoken almost every day since is now safely ensconced in my spare room awaiting her arrival in a bit under 14 days.

I've been trying to remember how long ago it was I lived with a woman... or anyone at all, and it is a long time. I look around my rooms & realise I have become a male stereotype. Corners are filled with stuff, even I can see dust everywhere & I have things in plain view that haven't been touched since they were put there 3 years back when I moved into this place.

Not because of her, but for my own sense of honour, I need to clean the place up for her arrival. I need to look at my daily habits & work out which ones are those acceptable in decent society & which I better find a way to cease & desist.

I range from a fear of change to sheer delight she is coming into my life & really, the fear is just old habit - mostly I am pleased I now have a reason to become someone new; a better person who can start respecting myself again. I only hope she will be a little patient with me as I find my new/old self & start to rebuild habits let slip when i thought I had only lonely days of agin ahead of me.

How the world can change on the basis of offering to help someone with their troubles. *grins*

It hasn't been a year of smooth blissfulness; there has been travail enough that we have been tested & tried & somehow, in spite of my normal GTF outa here reactions, we have come through & now are as strong as, or even stronger than, ever.

Welcome jaime, into my life & my heart. I hope you like Australia & the sudden emergence out into a big city is not a total culture shock.

See you soon lover.

16 January 1955

Your date of conception was on or about 25 April 1954 which was a Sunday.

You were born on a Sunday
under the astrological sign Capricorn.
Your Life path number is 1.

The Life Path 1 suggests that you entered this plane with skills allowing you to become a leader type rather easily. Your nature is charged with individualistic desires, a demand for independence, and the need for personal attainment. Many of our military generals, corporate leaders, and political leaders are men and women having the Life Path 1. When you display positive 1 traits your mind is capable of significant creative inspiration, and it possesses the enthusiasm and drive to accomplish a great deal. You are very good at getting the ball rolling; initiating new projects is your forte. You are at your best when confronted with obstacles and challenges, as you combat these with strength and daring. This is both the physical and inner varieties of strength. With this strength comes utter determination and the capability to lead. As a natural leader you have a flair for taking charge of any situation. You have a tendency to do this, even if, at times, it is not appropriate for you to do so.

Highly original, you may have talents as an inventor or innovator of some sort. In any work that you choose, your independent attitude can show through. You have very strong personal needs and desires, and you feel it is always necessary to follow your own convictions. You tire of routine and highly detailed tasks rather quickly.

You are ambitious and assertive in promoting yourself. Although you may hide the fact for social reasons, you can be self-centered and demand to have your way in many circumstances. That said, for the most part, you are considered very good company, friendly, good-natured, and a wonderful conversationalist. People like you and are drawn to you. It is a good thing they are, because you are very sensitive to disapproval and you don't handle it very well.

There are several ways that the negative side of the 1 can show up. The 1 always has the potential for greatness as a leader, but they may fail as a follower. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to follow for a while before you are allowed to lead and this can be a difficult time. When the 1 Life Path person is not fully developed and expressing the negative side of this number, the demeanor may appear very dependent rather than independent, particularly in the early years. If you are expressing this negative trait of the number 1, you are likely to be very dissatisfied with your circumstances, and long for self-sufficiency. This might be defined as the weak or dependent side of the negative 1 Life Path. On the strong side of this negative curve, the 1 energy can become too self-serving, selfish and egotistical. Avoid being too bossy and demanding.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 3 & 9.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 8.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 6, 11 & 22.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2435123.5.
The golden number for 1955 is 18.
The epact number for 1955 is 6.
The year 1955 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/3/1954 and ending 1/23/1955.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Horse.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Goose; your plant is Bramble.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Famenoth, the third month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 22 Tevet 5715.

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 10 April 1955.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 17 April 1955.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 23 February 1955.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 29 May 1955.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 5 June 1955.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Saturday, 17 September 1955.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Thursday, 7 April 1955.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 22 February 1955.

As of 9/10/2006 1:01:48 AM EDT
You are 51 years old.
You are 620 months old.
You are 2,695 weeks old.
You are 18,865 days old.
You are 452,761 hours old.
You are 27,165,661 minutes old.
You are 1,629,939,708 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:

Mason Gamble (1986)

Aaliyah (1979)

Kate Moss (1974)

Sade (1959)

Debbie Allen (1950)

John Carpenter (1948)

Ronnie Milsap (1944)

A.J. Foyt (1935)

Dizzy Dean (1911)

Ethel Merman (1909)

Andre Michelin (1853)

Top songs of 1955

Rock Around the Clock by Bill Haley & His Comets

Sixteen Tons by Tennessee Ernie Ford

Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing by Four Aces

The Yellow Rose of Texas by Mitch Miller

Autumn Leaves by Roger Williams

Learnin' the Blues by Frank Sinatra

Ain't That a Shame by Fats Domino

Moments to Remember by Four Lads

I Hear You Knocking by Gale Storm

A Blossom Fell by Nat King Cole

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 7.38356164383562 years old. (You old hound dog, you!)

There are 128 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 52 candles.

Those 52 candles produce 52 BTUs,
or 13,104 calories of heat (that's only 13.1040 food Calories!) .
You can boil 5.94 US ounces of water with that many candles.

In 1955 there were approximately 4.0 million births in the US.
In 1955 the US population was approximately 150,697,361 people, 50.7 persons per square mile.
In 1955 in the US there were approximately 1,667,231 marriages (11.1%) and 385,144 divorces (2.6%)
In 1955 in the US there were approximately 1,452,000 deaths (9.6 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1955 the population of Australia was approximately 9,311,825.
In 1955 there were approximately 207,677 births in Australia.
In 1955 in Australia there were approximately 72,172 marriages and 6,724 divorces.
In 1955 in Australia there were approximately 82,036 deaths.


Your birthstone is Garnet

The Mystical properties of Garnet

Garnet is used as a power stone

Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Emerald, Rose Quartz

Your birth tree is

Elm Tree, the noble-mindedness

Pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, tends not forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, tends to a know-all-attitude and making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humour, practical.

There are 106 days till Christmas 2006!
There are 119 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was in its last quarter.


What my name means

There are 22 letters in your name.
Those 22 letters total to 95
There are 7 vowels and 15 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 5

The characteristics of #5 are: Expansiveness, visionary, adventure, the constructive use of freedom.

The expression or destiny for #5:
The number 5 Expression endows with the wonderful characteristic of multi-talents and versatility. You can do so many things well. The tone of the number 5 is constructive freedom, and in your drive to attain this freedom, you will likely be the master of adaptability and change. You are good at presenting ideas and knowing how to approach people to get what you want. Naturally, this gives you an edge in any sort of selling game and spells easy success when it comes to working with people in most jobs. Your popularity may lead you toward some form of entertainment or amusement. Whatever you do, you are clever, analytical, and a very quick thinker.

If there is too much of the 5 energy in your makeup, you may express some the negative attitudes of the number. Your restless and impatient attitude may keep you from staying with any project for too long. Sometimes you can be rather erratic and scatter yourself and your energies. You have a hard time keeping regular office hours and maintaining any sort of a routine. You tend to react strongly if you sense that your freedom of speech or action is being impaired or restricted in any way. As clever as you are, you may have a tendency to make the same mistakes over and over again because much of your response is glib reaction rather that thoughtful application. You are in a continuous state of flux brought by constantly changing interests.

Your Soul Urge number is: 2

A Soul Urge number of 2 means:
With the Soul Urge number 2, your motivation is centered on friendships, partnerships, and companionship. You want to work with others as a part of a cooperative team. Leadership is not important to you, but making a contribution to the team effort is. You are willing to work hard to achieve a harmonious environment with sensitive, genial people.

In a positive sense, the 2 Soul Urge is sympathetic, extremely concerned and devoted. The nature tends to be very sensitive to others, always tactful and diplomatic. This element in your nature indicates that you are rather emotional. You are persuasive, but in a very quiet way, never forceful. You are the type that makes really close friendships because you are so affectionate and loving.

If this number is over-emphasized in your makeup, you may be over-sensitive, with a delicate ego that is too easily hurt. You may be timid or fearful, too easygoing for your own good.

Your Inner Dream number is: 3

An Inner Dream number of 3 means:
You dream of artistic expression; writing, painting, music. You would seek to more freely express your inner feeling and obtain more enjoyment from life. You also dream of being more popular, likable, and appreciated.

Amazing Space

I once was lost but now I’ve found
my blindness is in me
The faults that pull me down each day
are merely what I see

I see a man all locked inside
he isn’t what I chose
I never thought when I was young
that I’d be one of those

But now a glimmer-thought I catch
Alone I make my place
and with all other mass-bound souls
we build up time and space

The god without exists within
each life a molecule
We’re here to know, to live, to learn
creative, arty fools

I’ll look again at who I am
sad-hearted merry clown
It’s time to ease the peptide rush
enslaved to self put-down

To interrupt the daily stress
to alter point of view
I’ll turn my mind map from its path
and make my path anew

It’s all there in potential worlds
they all exist right now
Reality comes when I choose
foments inside my brow

A quantum world reveals the truth
nothing’s what it seems
Our minds cannot discern the true
reality from our dreams

So I will start to dream anew
to find a better way
I’ll leave behind depression’s grey
and choose a brighter day

Animal Nature

We often think of animals as dumb creatures, but if only we keep our eyes open & our preconceptions shut off, we can see they can be truly remarkable. The following are two true stories, one of which I was told by someone I trust & the other I actually witnessed. I have more but to me these two express a side of the animal kingdom that most people simply don't know about

I hope you enjoy them...

The Woman & her Lyre

Up Errinundra Plateau way, deep in Australian bush
A city girl a Sea Change took, to rest and sit on tush
At end of day, in smoky dusk, sitting on her porch
She found a friend, good company, in coolth that follows scorch

Grey Lyre Bird would come to view, new neighbour in domain
With food scraps then she tempted him, his presence to retain
Friendship grew between the two, he courted her by voice
He’d spread his tail in fine display, his song a master’s choice

Months passed by as they consorted, human fem and bird
He treated her to finest sounds, by human ever heard
And as things do there came to pass, the woman felt quite sick
She had to stay tight in her bed, to give disease the flick

From first day that she spent in bed, she heard a sound quite strange
A scratching sound beside the house, like chickens on free range
It kept her puzzled four days long, to weak to go and see
Visitors saw nothing there, what then could it be?

The fifth morn she awoke at last, and outside room did spy
Her lyre bird was standing there, waiting window high
He clucked at her to bid g’day, then spread his lyre tail
Pure serenade and court display, skills of lyre male

When she had failed to appear, his strange unbirdly mate
He’d worked out (maybe) what was wrong, decided not to wait
He’d built his mound by bedroom side, (it’s usually just for eggs)
Every day he’d built it higher, till it reached window’s ledge

For three long months he‘d stand parade, just off her window sill
He’d flash her, try out every sound, amused her well until
Recovery came and she could greet him from her favourite seat
He never stood the mound again, his use for it complete

Monkey Shines

In days gone by the Melbourne Zoo, was not so free in style
The animals were kept in cages, pacing all the while
Even then, a naïve boy, it made me feel so sad
To see great lion cooped up tight, today it’s not so bad

One incident stands clear in mind, I’ll tell you if I can
Of simian duplicity, a triumph over Man
Two chimps in cage, a mated pair, pubescent group of kids
The children yelled and mucked around, banged on dustbin lids

The male chimp sat, at cage’s rear, in quiet sombre mood
His mate was on the floor in front, picking over food
The boys were hawking gobs of spit, then spraying them at her
They spattered her and then they laughed, at dribbles down her fur

The male sat watching all of this, cud chewing as he sat
Caught by this I stopped and watched, reprimand gone flat
They spat, she sat, he steadily chewed, I watched it all unfold
And learned no matter what the race, the young learn from the old

With kids at chainlink gathered close, the male reached for roof
And as he swung hand over hand, of smarts he gave us proof
To closest point to fence he swung, and as he reached top arc
He sprayed entire mouth of phlegm, and didn’t miss his mark

He’d stoic watched his lady love, spat on by the boys
And patient gathered all his spit, while they made all the noise
When gallons gathered in his mouth, he made his forward move
Monkey see and monkey do, he once and all did prove

My first poem...

The Defender

He stands prepared in every way, to meet the ravening hordes
A host of mighty weapons, but not of spears or swords
Just one alone we find him, ‘midst teeming types unlike
Among successful giants, an insignificant tyke.

When they crowd around the stranger, he loiters by, aloof
The task they try is not his, he seeks a different truth
A destiny made grander, by value of the prize
His fate is plainly to be used, defender of their lives

In times of systematic peace, when those about him meet
He wanders by, impressing none, tuned to a different beat
But time will come, he feels down deep, his might severely tried
Will he stand fast, irresolute or will he run and hide?

He floats in mighty blood red streams, seeking out his goal
An alien contaminant, an artificial shoal
The currents now distorted, excitement starts to build
He knows he will be good at this, although he’s never killed

The monster’s there, horrific sight, distended ugly growth
Attacking all, no quarter drawn, corrupt or kill or both!
A moment’s hesitation, his armory to prepare
With mighty cry he jumps upon the dragon in his lair.

The dragon grins, satanic leer and wraps around him whole
He feels the pain of compromise, like daggers through his soul
But deep inside, (he knows his stuff) when virus tendrils near
A tiny little pack of death lays waiting, purpose clear

As evil fingers rip his skin, he feels his end is close
Death’s got him, but his riposte, a truly deadly dose
As he breaks down, will reach right out, from his dormant shell
To seize the deadly virus, and send it straight to Hell

So when you sneeze or blow your nose, the loathsome mess you see
Is not just snot or gorby scum, disgusting you and me
This bodily ejecta, unwanted I can tell
Consists of lots of corpses, including one T. Cell

About 15 months back I was browsing a writing site & when bored I would go & critique the poetry section. Someone asked how come I never placed any poetry there & after writing an explanation about how i was turned off it about the age of 14, I scrapped that & with the attitude of "I'll give them something to rip apart' I wrote the above piece.

It honestly took about 20 minutes to write & I think maybe 3 edits to correct spelling or punctuation. Reading it back, I still like it & so did those on the site.

Tales Of Egypt

Ancient Mystery

In awesome grandeur cross all time
Pyramid grand, mystery sublime
Impossible height, a mile around
Questions asked, no answers found

Khufu-built, they called it tomb
Indeed there seems a coffin room
Throughout them all, unless they hide
They’ve never found the dead inside

If pyramids speak, a tongue they lack
No writings found, it doesn’t track
All glyphs are found in other halls
In tombs, mastabas, on the walls

Beside the greatest, Giza’s glory
Rests fabled lion, what’s the story?
It wasn’t wind that made the grain
But constant regular heavy rain

Many signs have tested out
To be too old, without a doubt
To fit with Egyptology
Four thousand years? At least times three!

Star shafts line up from deep within
No human use, they’re much too thin
Point out stars, which at night show
As is above, so is below

Orion’s Belt, with slightest crook
Is seen below, just take a look
In line up with the Nile just so
(which emulates galactic glow)

To match them all, from ground to sky
We travel back to days gone by
Four thousand years is way too rough
Six thousand more, almost enough

To set them all, to know the score
Twelve thousand years, and hundreds four
When desert land and sweet oasis
Were not mainstays of culture’s basis

When deserts bloomed in grass and grain
Supported by the heavy rain
And stars with mystic shafts align
And Giza’s match? Perfect design!

More glorious now the tale’s been told
Thrice the age we've known of old
How much greater then the deed
And left for us, bequeathed indeed

Daily life...

It is difficult being so far from friends. Silver is so far away & Hawke as well. When things go awry for any of us or between us it would just be so good to be able to call around & see them, deal with things face to face; somehow things seem better that way.

The internet is a great thing, making the world smaller & making it possible for me to know them at all, but it is a long way from a physical relationship. This was driven home to me when I read a thread on WF about what happens if a member dies; would other members ever know or would they just pass into the distance, unremarked & unremembered. Some of the posters talk about having a list of sites for their family or friends to contact so as to let the other members know what had happened. This brought the realisation that should I die, there is nobody I can leave a note for. About the best I could hope for is a cop when they came to cart me away might find a note & bother to log in.

I think about the best I could do is make out a will & give details for the lawyer to contact Silver or Hawke so they could pass on the information.

It is hard to recall the last time I was touched in a personal way (apart from things like handshakes on intro to people) or when someone came to visit. And yet I am a friendly person - I don't readily abuse people, I think of their comfort & ask after their health - yet somehow people seem to stand off from me. Maybe I smell? *grins*

I even have evidence of the effect - a couple of years ago I went around the world & often had long & involved convos with people in a lot of countries, but in 4 months of travel, not one of those conversations were started by other people. Every time I had to break the ice; once done, the convos were friendly & lively & we had a good time, but not once was I approached first.

I have noticed the effect in bars - I can walk in, stand at a crowded bar & have a drink, and within 15 minutes I will have a space on either side of me at least 2 people wide. Not every time but often enough that it is noticeable. In places where I was a regular I have drawn the attention of the bar staff to it & they can't understand it either.

If I break the ice with anyone, it doesn't happen but if I don't talk, somehow, even when they are a couple of rows deep at other parts of the bar, I will have a space. Very occasionally someone wills tep into the space to order & then move back to their table but nobody stays unless I first talk to them.

Strange stuff. I wish I could see auras - mine must be a doozy!

Strangeness in relationships

People with the best of intentions & with strong feeling for each other seem to be able to find ways to be at cross purposes. It is strange indeed.

In one case the words from the past pre-disposed me to seeing a meaning that apparently wasn't meant & I reacted to what I thought was being said, causing shock & pain at the other end of the convo. I still don't have an explanation from her as to what was actually meant by her statement so the meaning is still obscure a bit, but the reaction tells me i probably got it wrong.

If I can be so wrong about something said by someone I love & care for, how do i fix the gap in our communication so it doesn't occur again? I am but human & although I try not to have it happen, evidence from the past shows that if I just react, unlike most people it seems to have a big & usually negative effect on others. I try to think about things before reacting, but sometimes, like last night, I get caught & everything seems crystal clear & i say something (or sometimes do something) only to be told I am wrong.

On the other hand, someone with whom I normally have almost full agreement in our convos spent most of our time together yesterday arguing with almost everything I said, even though it turned out that maybe at least one of our basic premises wasn't that different between us.

Why it happened I am not sure - maybe my dogmatic tone got her fur up or maybe we were in contrary moods or something. It wasn't so bad while we were talking about Egypt & prehistory but when we got onto the next subject it seemed I upset her somewhat. I guess it came down to a basis of she thinks all care should be taken to protect someone we care about & I see it as we should work to get her to deal with what is happening before going for panaceas like counselling &/or drugs.

To my way of seeing things there is quite possibly a valid reason for what is going on that should be looked at before we simply try to stop the symptoms, but it seems clear that my way involves cruelty to the person at the centre of it & now I am ashamed for not considering that side of things. My only excuse is I think it is better to go through something to find a resolution than to simply cover it over & hope it goes away. I think Hawke sees it as me just trying to satisfy my curiousity at someone else's expense.

So, as I say, if comm between people who care about each other as we do can go so wrong, what hope is there for the world out there to get along.

On another note I am getting back into critiquing other people's works in the hope of kick-starting my muse so I can start writing again.

So... catching up a bit...

I went & saw the da Vinci Code on Saturday. Though I hadn't read the book I had no problems following the plot & found it well paced & an interesting movie. After reading lots of comments about both book & movie I was expecting something much worse, but I guess others don't have my background knowledge.

I am a long-term agnostic, having rejected the religion of my parents starting aged 10 when the pastor failed to give me a reasonable answer to 'what is belief?' & then 'what is faith?' (he'd answered the first one by saying 'belief is when you have faith something is true' then followed up with 'faith is when you believe something is true without evidence' even at 10 I knew a circular argument when I saw one)

I have learned over the years of the synods where they decided the contents of the bible & the earlier council of Nicea where they made the decisions as to what books would be excluded from it. Also I've had a long term interest in things like the sphinx, the pyramids & other monuments that seem to defy orthodox history - that interest has led in some interesting pathways, including into the ideas that the Hebrews were actually Akhenaten's bunch, fresh from losing out to the pan-theistic bunch & leaving Egypt with their mono-theistic beliefs. It certainly made more sense than a mass migration of slaves never mentioned in Egypt's history.

And following on, there's the interesting bit about the Ages. We are currently entering the Age of Aquarius. We are leaving the Age of Pisces (fish) & before that was the Age of Aries (sheep)
Christ was born in the Age of Aries & the Age of Pisces came along while he was alive - making sense of him being the shepherd who became a fisher of men - unfortunately in the Hebrew it doesn't work out - we get our zodiac & dating of the changes from the egyptians.

There are also the Essenes; no mention is made of them in the bible yet they were the group who had members such as Elijah & Elisha, Mary & Joseph & they are the authors of the Dead Sea Scrolls. Strange they didn't get a mention when they were so involved. Their presence in reality and non-inclusion in the bible bring an easy thought of conspiracy or hidden purposes, so the da Vinci Code isn't such a big leap.

But I can understand how those with preconceived fixed ideas or without knowledge of the facts behind christianity could be a little lost by the movie. But I enjoyed it.

A busy week...

Travelled heaps (about 1100km) and had a busy time, lots of jobs & got most of them done. Haven't had much time when i wasn't tired to get into the Wild Divine but have plans for the weekend. With any luck I should get a good few hours in.

Victoria is a lovely place, particularly when it isn't in drought & all brown. We have everything here - a good site for checking out Oz - the list down the left is clickable so you can view snaps by holiday-makers from all around Australia.


I remember once, coming back across the Nullabor the first time, we had a English guy as a hitchhiker - he kept wanting to stop at each corner & take a photo back down the road & another one forward. I pictured this guy getting home & having a slide night & showing like 36 photos showing a dead straight road going to the horizon, over & over... LOL

This Wide Brown Land

Across the world’s vast acres, there’s grandeur, sights sublime
Vast steamy torrid jungles, tall pines across ridge lines
Deserts wide, so sandy dry, while one consists of ice
Wide plains with golden grasses, and paddy fields of rice

The folk, they vary widely, though underneath the same
They build and work, they live or die, most try to ‘play the game’
Impressive are the monuments, pyramids – cities - walls
In atmospheric churches, fine art adorns the walls

One place for me that stands above, the ancient and the bold
Lies far away from central pulse, a land of different mould
Here dryness is the normal, with skies of azure blue
And eucalypt’s sweet fragrance, cloaks mounts with smoky blue

Mostly wide slow rivers, meander through the plains
But even they get awesome, come winter’s flooding rains
Clear and gurgling crystal creek, through rocky gorge descends
Our golden beaches, famed afar, for days of fun with friends

Our mountains show no boldness, slope-shouldered in the heat
And snow in one or two locales, where skiers can compete
But Errinundra Plateau, Australian Great Divide
The Barrier reef and Ayers Rock too, are known far and wide

Tanned laconic sun-browned man, his life the world admires
He’s capable and honest too, works hard and then fights fires
In town more continental, our attitudes not yours
We’ve started new and built our own, forgetting our befores

All you see when overseas, you can find right here
It’s possibly not quite as big, or maybe not so near
But pick your chosen climate, your sport, or just your views
We’ll pull out maps, and spread them wide, it’s up to you to choose

While wand’ring round exploring wide, you need to take good care
A taipan’s bite will kill you quick, there’s a redback on the stair!
Black widows and the funnelweb, black death on humans frail
Cute furry Mr Platypus, has poison near his tail.

Cuddly climbing button nose, koalas get their highs
By chewing eucalyptus leaves, (with claws! So watch your eyes!)
Furry snarling savage devil, will tackle any foe
Last marsupial predator, be a shame to see him go!

Kookaburras, crows and galahs, quolls spotted, tigers too
Black swan, blue tongue goanna, grey ‘n big red kangaroo
And snakes we have, twelve of the best, tiger, black and brown
Spiders too, tarantula, and redbacks (Don’t Sit Down!)

You can die of thirst or sudden flood, or drown in heavy surf
Sharks, they like us swimming too, with crocs it takes more nerve
They’re deadly silent swimmers, who ripple-lurk to snatch
But we’ve got Mick and Steve as well, their savagery to match

We’ve flies and ants, big mothers they, and march flies bite like hell
While mozzies with incessant whine, disturb our sleep too well
Blowflies buzz in dopey flight, sea jelly scalds the skin
And prickly little bindi-eyes, spike up through soles too thin

Aside from all the dust and sun, there’s something special here
A cast of light, a depth of view, a sense the past is near
It draws one with remoteness, contrasting friendly grins
An age-old air of weariness, hiding ancient sins

When fires blaze in the bush at night, camaraderie sets in
It matters not to anyone, the colour of your skin
Through drought’s long dearth, or fires blaze, or every flood’s grey surge
Without a thought, we race to help, those left out on the verge

It’s nice to be Australian born, and travel overseas
And hear the welcome, 'G’day Mate! A beer, if you please'
Some think us just plain common folk, a criminal mistake
We laugh and raise a glass to them, knowing ‘she’ll be jake!’

You think you can’t know much of us, we’re such a tiny crowd
But think of our inventing skills, our products stand up proud
Hills hoist and Victa motor mower, good wine and fine red beef
Barbecues and suntan cream, extensive list made brief

When Man moon-walked you only saw it through our Eye-on-Sky
The first foot set, the famous quote, (We know it was no lie!)
Americas Cup, that famous mug, (It’s theirs by right, they feel)
Was finally passed when Bondy came, with his famous keel

If outdoors, surf and barbecue, would sate your heart’s desire,
A land of much more freedom, but also drought and fire
With parks and beaches, fauna too, where Hilton’s never been
A better life you can achieve, fly in to Tullamarine!

Ctrl-Alt-Del - restart

Well, here I go again - my prior blog I deleted after it was used to hurt people I care about. Maybe I was too truthful & maybe I put the wrong things on it. Who knows, but it was used twice to cause pain to others so I got rid of it.

This one I am starting because there are a couple of new starts happening in my life & I figure I will perhaps keep track of what is happening here. Maybe ideas will come - certainly I have noticed in the past that organising your thoughts to be able to tell someone else about your ideas can, all by itself, lead to new insight or ideas or occasionally a pardigm shift.

Recent upheavals in how things were have reduced what was a team of 4 down to 3; one persona turned out to be playing all sides against the others & actively working to play her nasty little games to our detriment. She has been outed & even kicked of the site where we all met & has lost the respect & contact she had with hundreds of people because of it. On the other hand, the remaining 3 have learned a lesson about trusting each other (we now trust each other & probably ONLY each other & exercise caution with others) and about communicating with each other - if anybody tries again to come between us I think they will find a rather savage reaction.

So we are making a new start, leaving behind the dross & finding our feet anew, helping each other through the pain & loss, the anger & disgust that we were so taken in, that we allowed someone to prey on our good natures & wishes to help. I have been working to try to make sure that the other two, hawke & silver, recover from this with as little damage as possible - if we are damaged by this, the con artist wins.

So... what is new?

Well for some time I have had a Mindfield Mind Machine that is very effective in altering the states of my mind. Most people have heard of Alpha brainwaves and maybe the other 3, Beta, Delta & Theta. This 'machine' will reliably allow you to bring your brain into any of these levels & you can design your own program to run. There are programs provided for things like Deep Meditation & Lucid Dreaming, getting into a good learning mode or getting ready for a good night of sleep or, as I say, design your own combination.

I am about to start using the MindMachine on a regular basis, along with my new purchase.

Journey to the Wild Divine is a sort of computer game, except it is far more. The first one, The Passage, comes with a biofeedback device called the Light Stone & sensors to allow the software to monitor your body & react according to your current state/mood. The game leads you into & through training your mind. I am just beginning & already find it enthralling. More later on this.

So I will post here & keep things up to date. See you soon...